Grief or Loss

Grief or Loss

Coping with the loss of a loved one

You have lost someone you love. You never realized you could hurt so much. As cruel as it feels, however, death is a normal part of everyone’s life. Eventually accepting (but not forgetting) your loss is essential to your wellbeing.

How death affects us

How deeply you feel your loss depends on your relationship with the person who is gone. Here are some other feelings and experiences it is normal to expect...

How death affects us Details

You may feel numb, unable to make decisions, or confused and forgetful during normal conversations.

You may feel anxious or ill with nausea, vomiting or headaches.  

After several weeks, you try to return to your old life. Yet as you work or clean out your loved one’s belongings, you may feel out of touch with the world. You look normal but you don’t feel it.

It’s at this point that you feel the true depth of your pain. You may feel guilty that you let your loved one down. Alone and afraid, you think your life will never be the same, that you’ll never be happy again.

All these feelings are normal. How long you feel them and find answers is up to you. Accepting your loss and plodding through the grief process takes time and work. Once you do, you’ll still feel the loss but with a sense of peace and the knowledge that you can carry on.

Different kinds of loss

Here are some different forms of loss that Allwell professionals can help you with...

Different kinds of loss Details

Research has found that sudden, tragic deaths and the death of a young person are often the hardest to accept.

Losing a child is like losing the future. Parents often feel they can’t go on and would rather escape the pain. They wish they could give their life so that their child could live. Siblings can also be deeply affected, and parents have to be sure their needs are met.

The death of a spouse or partner is devastating. You’re losing your best friend, roommate, lover and possibly the parent of your children. Every moment you used to share (morning coffee, chores, a kiss goodnight) makes you feel even lonelier.

Older adults are particularly vulnerable. They experience so much loss that sadness and depression can overwhelm their lives. They are faced with their own mortality almost daily.

Need help coping with a loss? Contact an Allwell Counseling Center for information or an appointment.

Tips for helping the survivor

Listen, say very little, and avoid clichés. Be there for the long haul, not just the funeral, and include them in the first holidays after their loss. Remember the anniversary of their loved one’s death with a call, a card or flowers.

Healing with the help of a professional

Friends, relatives and clergy may help. However, if you experience depression, despair or the feeling that your life has no value, it’s time to seek professional help. A caring counselor can help you accept your loss and move forward with your life. Contact your local Allwell Counseling Center for information or call 855-231-0502 for an appointment.